Why Builder Bees?

All girls have the same needs - to sleep, eat, love, explore, and to form friendships with other girls.

Sometimes girls give the impression that they don’t want friendship. Maybe they turn away from others, or have a hard time joining a group. Maybe they are not in step with the interest or fashion of the day. Maybe they have gone through a personal trauma or bad experience with their peers, and would rather push people away than risk getting hurt again. Sometimes, girls can be too anxious to talk to almost everyone around them, but then something magical happen. Soul sisters meet, and lifelong friendships blossom. Reticence gives way to exuberance.

Builder Bees got started because our founder Orley noticed six years ago that her daughter Maxine became a different person when she was with friends who could transform her from a withdrawn observer to a lively companion.  Orley, a veteran teacher, had herself felt like an outsider at school, and had watched countless students suffer from a lack of connection with peers. Her mission became to ensure that no girl she encountered would be left isolated. In her hive, there would be no hierarchy of Queens, Workers, and Drones. There would be one role for everyone: the inconspicuous, invaluable role of Builder Bee, creator of the wax without which there is no beehive.

Why Girls?

It is well documented that aggression in girls is often relational rather than overt. Relational aggression, in which friendship can be extended or withdrawn on an apparent whim, can manifest in subtle behaviors such as rolled eyes or the “silent treatment.” This means that it can go unnoticed by teachers and parents, and victims can be accused of over-sensitivity or fabrication. It is important to validate girls’ perceptions, to teach girls to stay vigilant, and to empower them to stand up for themselves and each other.

Which Girls?

We include trans girls, non-binary people, people assigned female at birth, and femme-presenting children. We welcome anyone who is seeking to be part of our hive.

Why Friendship?

The need for friendship between girls, or children socialized as girls, is a physiological and psychological necessity. Research has shown that the stress hormone cortisol is lower in the saliva of those who have authentic, reciprocal friendships. Documented long-term effects of social exclusion include aggression; emotional numbness; suppressing opinions because of over-dependence on acceptance by the group; a compromised immune system; and a decrease in cognitive functioning. For more on these studies see Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are, by Carlin Flora (2013).